$250 Couple offering reduced rent in exchange for basic house chores (Upper West Side)
Date: 2011-08-24, 8:27AM EDT Reply to: firstname.lastname@example.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
We are a busy couple looking to offer a small room in exchange for basic house chores. We are both fairly neat, and our home is reasonably clean. However, we need someone who can be responsible for thorough weekly cleaning of the apartment, and occasional dishwashing. Our ideal candidate is looking for a long term arrangement, polite, submissive by nature, petite, and preferably under 120 lbs. The rent off course is nominal, and will be used to cover your own expenses such as food, laundry and living costs. We are also very open to the idea of offering free rent and pay depending on your performance and chemistry. We are both fit, business owner / worker, in our early 30’s, peaceful, and well educated. As for the apartment, it is comfortable, and conveniently located. Feel free to contact us with any questions.
Craiglist: The place to find “submissive” maids to live in your place.
“Imagine a life in which there’s always a jamboree, it’s always a sunny day, and no one ever troubles you for anything," said 46-year-old Cleveland native Charley Hale. "You never have to pay taxes, and all you really have to do is blow in a jug a few times, sing some dumb words, and happily smile away with your pretty animatronic girl bear at your side.”—Oh, The Onion. One of my favorite fake surveys yet.
“What you want is practice, practice, practice. It doesn’t matter what we write (at least this is my view) at our age, so long as we write continually as well as we can. I feel that every time I write a page either of prose or of verse, with real effort, even if it’s thrown into the fire the next minute, I am so much further on.”—C.S. Lewis
“Wife: I’m in love with your brother-in-law.
GOB: You’re in love with your own brother? The one in the army?
Wife: No, your sister’s husband.
GOB: Michael? Michael.
Wife: No, that’s your sister’s brother.
GOB: No, I’m my sister’s brother. You’re in love with me. Wife: I’m in love with Tobias.
GOB: My brother-in-law?
Wife: I know it can never be, so I’m leaving. I’m enlisting in the army.
GOB: To be with your brother.
One of the best scenes “Arrested Development” (and Will Arnett and Amy Poehler) ever had. If you watch it, you’ll also notice the amazingly colorful clothing.
“What I brought forward, I thought, was a rational, established, credible, strong record of results … the audience, so to speak, was looking for something different.”—Tim Pawlenty, being bitter but also (maybe?) insightful, as he drops his 2012 GOP presidential bid.
“There’s nobody in this world that could possibly attack us today… we could defend this country with a few good submarines. If anybody dared touch us we could wipe any country off of the face of the earth within hours. And here we are, so intimidated and so insecure and we’re acting like such bullies that we have to attack third-world nations that have no military and have no weapons.”—
Ron Paul may hate everything, but he loves submarines!
I get what he’s trying to do. But nothing seems less forceful than defensively chastising a faceless private agency that helped spur the 2008 economic disaster with its hopelessly out-of-touch ratings and, in reality, only has symbolic power, even if it’s powerfully wielded.