February 2012
52 posts
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HIMYM Alternate Ending #18: The kids hate Ted...
himymmother:
“And so, kids, that’s how I met your mother.”
“Finally! God, Dad, that story was the most boring thing we’ve ever heard.
“Yeah, I would have rather you never met Mom and us not be alive if it meant we could have never heard that story. Also, how does Uncle Barney not have AIDS?”
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James daSilva: USA Network and "White Collar" only... →
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HIMYM Alternate Ending #18: The kids hate Ted...
himymmother:
“And so, kids, that’s how I met your mother.”
“Finally! God, Dad, that story was the most boring thing we’ve ever heard.
“Yeah, I would have rather you never met Mom and us not be alive if it meant we could have never heard that story. Also, how does Uncle Barney not have AIDS?”
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“War Horse (average 3.8 stars): “This is a horse movie with horses about...”
– Gawker: The Best of the Worst Netflix Reviews of Best Picture Nominees
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“Bald eagles won an unexpected victory Thursday when Minnesota regulators delayed...”
– Really? How did the bald eagles celebrate? Did the bald eagle spokesman hold a press conference?
Bald eagles win a round against Red Wing wind farm | StarTribune.com
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HIMYM Alternate Ending #17: The liver transplant
himymmother:
“Kids, much like the alcoholism alternate ending I already shared, the drinking caught up with me. No, I never became a diagnosed alcoholic, but my liver didn’t know it. Off to the hospital for a transplant! Son, you drive.”
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HIMYM Alternate Ending #16: Ted Mosby's 3rd child
himymmother:
“Kids, I know it’s weird to hear that your mom and I are going to have another baby — because it means you now know we’re still having sex. That’s why I told you that interminable story about every other woman I had sex with, in order to desensitize you.”
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“As you can imagine, at these kinds of parties you’re not always dressed, and I...”
– A lawyer for Dominique Strauss-Kahn, offering a defense for his client who is now being questioned in France as part of a probe into a prostitution ring. (via officialssay)
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HIMYM Alternate Ending #15: Barney's funeral
himymmother:
“Kids, Barney’s death has made me realize that life is too short to leave stories untold. That’s why the story of how I met your mother was really the story of Barney Stinson — your mother and I can still make memories, but Barney’s getting laid (to rest) for the last time. Get it? Can I get a five, for Barney’s sake?”
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HIMYM Alternate Ending #14: Ted Mosby comes out
himymmother:
“Kids, I don’t know why, all these years after gay marriage became legalized, I still had to hide my true self. No more. Well, that’s the story of how I met your mother, and now I’m leaving her.”
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“OK, the idea that kids these days are “digital natives” is a nice, self-serving...”
– California Dreamin’ | MetaFilter (via ayjay)
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HIMYM Alternate Ending #13: Ted Mosby is...
himymmother:
“And kids, that, finally, is how I met your mother.”
(voice out of sight) “What? Ted, that isn’t our story. We met on a blind date.”
“Oh. Well, who the hell was I talking about all these years?”
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The Sporting Scene: How You Know David Brooks... →
From his column in the New York Times today:
Jeremy Lin is anomalous in all sorts of ways…. But we shouldn’t neglect the biggest anomaly. He’s a religious person in professional sports.
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Guest HIMYM Alternate Ending #11: Ted Mosby's kids...
himymmother:
“Kids, I just want to tell you about all the women that your Uncle Barney and I got with, and then eventually tell you about the one I settled for — your mom! But wait! If you leave, how will the audience know what happened?”
Credit for the photo and excellent scenario goes to Adam Shaftoe at The Page of Reviews.
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Longreads: The legacy of Wes Leonard
longreads:
A Michigan high school basketball player hits the game-winning shot. Moments later he collapses from cardiac arrest and dies:
After the autopsy, when the doctor found white blossoms of scar tissue on Wes Leonard’s heart, he guessed they had been secretly building there for several months. That would mean Wes’s heart was slowly breaking throughout the Fennville Blackhawks’ 2010—11...
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HIMYM Alternate Ending #12: Ted Mosby uses The Ted...
himymmother:
“Kids, your Uncle Barney’s playbook worked better than he ever suspected. I got my first date with your mom by pulling the Ted Mosby. Boy, was she mad when she found out!”
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I'm Longreads' Featured Longreader! →
Go find out what I like to read in the quieter moments when I’m not posting random stuff on Tumblr.
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“Educated models are in. This may sound improbable. In the film “Zoolander”, male...”
– I call bullshit. (via theeconomist)
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Guest HIMYM Alternate Ending #10: The Onion's Ted...
himymmother:
“Who are you youngsters? Well, did you ever hear about how I met Marshall and Lily? Let me tell you…”
via The Onion.
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Guest HIMYM Alternate Ending #9: Brother Barney
himymmother:
“Kids, I’ve often said how Marshall is like a brother to me. Well, your Uncle Barney is literally a brother to me. A half-brother, that is. Because your mother is his half-sister.”
This video explains it, starting roughly at 4:58.
More circumstantial evidence.
Photo credit: Little Big Sense
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Guest HIMYM Alternate Ending #8: The girl Ted... →
fuckyeahhowimetyourmother:
Remember, this is my theory and not some spoiler.
In the Episode No Tomorrow, Episode 12 of Season 3, Ted goes back to the night club and looks for his cell phone, but can’t find it and grabs his future wife’s yellow umbrella, which means she was at the club that…
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“Zooey Deschanel infuriates people. More accurately, the idea of Zooey Deschanel...”
– Zooey Deschanel can come off as a weird person, and I’m more and more convinced that she’s acting less in “New Girl” and just being herself more. Still, the hate puzzles me, even if perhaps it’s something women feel more strongly (and therefore I’m not picking up...
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“And so, in the proud tradition of good blogs everywhere, readers are left with a...”
– As I’ve long talked about, traditional editing/quality control is not that important. Smart, thoughtful editing decisions, however, are — and that’s where copy editors need to go. No grousing about the Observer; instead, find your own to (re)invent.
Elizabeth Spiers and the...
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Guest HIMYM Alternate Ending #7: The 1940s noir...
himymmother:
“Kids, me narrating to you was just a ruse. This was actually a 1940s-style film noir crime show.”
(by howimetyourmother)
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HIMYM Alternate Ending #11: Robin's Doppelganger
himymmother:
“Kids, remember how when I first told this story, I psyched you out by making it sound like your Aunt Robin was the mother? Well, it was actually a double-con! I know I said Aunt Robin’s doppelganger was Lesbian Robin, but that’s not really true. The lesbian part, I mean. Hey, don’t get mad! I’m an unreliable narrator!”
Photo credit: how-i-met-your-mother.wikia.com
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Guest HIMYM Alternate Ending #6: 20-year wait
himymmother:
The comic strip is here. Here’s a transcript.
“Kids, your mother is…
“Finally, I get to see who the mother is after 20 years of watching this show.”
“… I don’t know. You’re both adopted.”
“Damn it! 20 years of watching this show, just for this shit!”
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ShortFormBlog: Some important nuance regarding... →
shortformblog:
A quick note about today’s prop 8 ruling: While the court did rule in favor of gay marriage, the court did not assert that gay marriage is a fundamental or constitutional right. That’s not the angle the court was coming from, and in fact, it intentionally deferred answering that question….
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"How I Met Your Mother" Endings: HIMYM Alternate... →
himymmother:
“Kids, so, as you know, I finally reconnected with your mother, and your Aunt Robin was nice enough to not shoot both of us. But, for the heck of it, I decided first to tell you how I slept with half of Manhattan.”
This one is tricky, in part because she looks 15 (but isn’t), because mostly…
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"How I Met Your Mother" Endings: Guest HIMYM... →
himymmother:
Perhaps the kids are a future projection slowly fading from 30-something Ted’s imagination. In fact, he’s a writer, not an architect (something he may have stolen from George Costanza, who’s pretended to be an architect for years).
He contrived the kids to acquire voice and structure his…
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“Trains are considered on time if they are no more than two minutes later than...”
– The D.C. Metro system — not working for you.
Metro: Red Line track work will take 3 more years | Washington Examiner
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HIMYM Alternate Ending #9: Bob Saget
himymmother:
“And that’s how I met your mother, kids. Of course, now that bastard Bob Saget is married to her, and he insisted on telling my story. Jesus, another old dude — it’s like that time I was rack-jacked by Phil Rizzuto!”
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HIMYM Alternate Ending #8: Ted Mosby in rehab
himymmother:
“Kids, after going out to drink at McClaren’s 5 nights a week for 2 decades, well, we were pretty much all full-blown alcoholics. It was at the Betty Ford Clinic that I first laid eyes on your mom and her yellow umbrella …”
