“Kids, I was a fan of ‘Mad Men’ because of the architecture; Barney and Robin for the suits, the cigars and the casual sex. We used to gather on Sundays to watch, but for the series finale, we went out to a viewing at a bar. Your mother was dressed as Don Draper, which was weird, but it got me interested in talking with her. Barney likes to say she wears the suit in the family.”
Each of these questions, when answered, will begin to limit the available options when attempting to select a measurement solution. However, in evaluating specific application requirements it will often be necessary to accept tradeoffs as different solutions may offer advantages in one area, while offering disadvantages in another. It therefore becomes very important to prioritize your requirements as you will quite often be unable to choose a single solution which meets all your needs.
As an example, dimensional measurements represent the single largest characteristic measurement category in the industry. Using various types of acquisition technology, operators have quite a few options to choose from when selecting a measurement solution to best fit their evaluation needs.
Selecting the best measuring solution for your part can be a very confusing and frustrating proposition. In trying to make the best selection you will want to ask yourself some of the following questions:
What type of characteristics will require inspection, are they dimensional, form, surface finish, or hardness?
Can the measurements be performed in-process or post process, either in-line or off-line?
What are my productions needs (frequency of inspection)?
What kinds of operator skills are necessary to perform the inspection?
How flexible does the inspection equipment need to be?
“Shaft-type parts can require inspection of an incredibly diverse set of characteristics and generally will be manufactured utilizing widely different techniques. Each one of these characteristics is further classified according to one of several existing measurement fields including dimensional, surface, form and geometry, hardness and nondestructive testing.”—
“Kids, this whole story of meeting your mother is my way of saying I’m sorry you had to see that today. We’ve kept it from you a long time, but you should know: your mother likes to do couple-swapping, and obviously Uncle Barney is up for that. That’s why we’ve had the hot tub all these years. It wasn’t just therapeutic. Well, it was in a way, but anyways…”
“As a user, you shouldn’t be forced to share your private information and communications just to get a job. And as the friend of a user, you shouldn’t have to worry that your private information or communications will be revealed to someone you don’t know and didn’t intend to share with just because that user is looking for a job. That’s why we’ve made it a violation of Facebook’s Statement of Rights and Responsibilities to share or solicit a Facebook password.”—Facebook’s Chief Privacy Officer, Erin Egan • Responding to a recent Associated Press story that discussed potential employers who would ask job applicants for their passwords. Facebook thinks that’s a no-no, and promises it may even consider legal action against companies that use Facebook information in this way. It’s good to see that Facebook is on the same page as us about this matter. (via shortformblog)
“Kids, as you know, many of these stories involve me or Barney breaking up with Robin, and yet I almost never talk about how Robin felt. Well, that caught up to me one day, and she beat me up like I was some hockey player threatening the Vancouver Canucks. Thank goodness your mother had just gotten off her shift as a nurse, and she helped stitch me up at the bar.”
“It is the job of journalists to decide what is news. It’s not the job of anyone else. Editors cannot let those who would denigrate the fundamental role of a free press in a democracy get away with such demagoguery…
…We in the press know best how to inform the electorate and how to keep watch over those who govern. Reporters have been doing it since the beginning.”—
And that, my friends, is the sound of someone who refuses to be dragged — kicking, screaming or otherwise — into the 21st century.
“Kids, in the fall of 2013 I thought I was going to be a father. It was the coat-check girl, with her 7-year-old son, Ned. She said I was the father; I said she was careless with receipts, if you know what I mean. Anyways, I had to give a court-ordered DNA sample, and your mother was working at the clinic. Luckily, it was some other guy and his coat, and I immediately asked your mom out. When she got pregnant, we didn’t need a test to tell me I was the dad.” (Or did we?)
“Kids, Barney had finally gotten down to one slap. We were at MacLaren’s, and Barney made a crack about Lily letting herself go since the kid, and Marshall slapped him so hard that he spun around and accidentally groped your mother. Well, after she threw her drink in his face, we all got together for another drink. And that was that.”
“Telling you all these stories, and reliving those all those memories – all those great nights just hanging out with my buds, all those women that Uncle Barney slept with, all those women that I slept…
“Kids, all the boozing and women (and the drugs I didn’t even tell you about), I had hit rock bottom. Then, a kind woman took me to church, and I married her, for it came to me in a dream. So despite how awesome these stories sounded, if you do any of these things, your soul cannot be saved.”
“Kids, my life is being made into a television show, except it’s going to be animated and take over from “The Simpsons” after its 40-year-run. So I needed to tell you about all these sex stories (and a little about meeting your mom) before the show starts production.”
[cuts to animated boring scene of Ted meeting the mother]
“Kids, I was married for one month back in the fall of 2013. I was out in L.A. on business, met this woman who was amazing, or so I thought, and we got married on the third day I knew her, elope-style. But that wasn’t your mother. Turns out she was just another pointless story to tell you, like Zoey or Karen or that girl I went on one date with seven years apart. Anyways, so your Aunt Robin and Uncle Barney had been taken hostage …”
“Kids, we only just found out that your mother was actually in Barney’s bracket of women he slept with. Turns out, while Barney told her he was a German financier with an incurable illness that gave him great sexual prowess but would kill him by 35, she gave him a false name and said she was a Rockette. Your mother, she’s such a jokester!”
“Kids, this is a story of how I met your mother. But it’s also a story I’m telling because I’m being sued for paternity, and this story is more fun than the story a judge is going to make me tell about how I met that mother.”
“Baseball is about going home, and how hard it is to get there and how driven is our need. It tells us how good home is. Its wisdom says you can go home again but you cannot stay. The journey must always start once more, the bat an oar over the shoulder, until there is an end to all journeying. Nostos; the going home; the game of nostalgia, so apt an image for our hunger that it hurts.”—A. Bartlett Giamatti - “Recall as the Series Ends, The Afternoon of the Fall” (via theyseemerollins)
“The 2011 Offensive Player of the Year arrived in New Orleans in 2006, less than a year after Hurricane Katrina had struck. Since then he has passed for more yards than any other quarterback in the NFL (28,394) while lifting the Saints to new heights and simultaneously helping a region heal from Katrina’s devastation.”—John Clayton, at ESPN.com. If the New Orleans region needed Drew Brees’ passing arm to recover from Hurricane Katrina, then it’s even more dysfunctional that we thought. C’mon — let’s stop this nonsense about sports “saving” cities. New York City didn’t fall apart after Mariano Rivera blew the World Series in November 2001; Detroit isn’t going to get better because of sports or Clint Eastwood voiceovers.
“Kids, I was helping out Marshall and Lilly by picking up their youngest from daycare. Your mom was running the daycare center, and I was running game. What! Up! [A hand reaches out to high-five Ted from 2030, presumably Barney’s]”
“I did all right, but Wilt had the big game," Attles said. "He was really dominant. Wilt had a tremendous game. It’s been 50 years since that happened. It’s the 50th anniversary of that game. It’s truly stood the test of time. The thing I remembered about the game is Wilt didn’t want to score 100. He wanted to come out of the game. Frank [McGuire, the Warriors’ coach] kept him in the game. Wilt was very careful. He didn’t want to rub it in. He was very conscious of that. We had some good players on both teams. Guy was a fantastic player. But Wilt was really special that game.”—50 years ago today, Wilt Chamberlain scored 100 points in an NBA game.