Ann,” Mitt said, “I would like to make love to you, if that’s okay.” He knew she would probably say yes. She usually said yes unless she had her period, which she didn’t anymore because of menopause. She had even given him a blow job one time when he was sad because his boat was broken.
“The Daily Show” tries, and fails, to explain how leading a group aimed at “civil discourse” and then calling people terrorists can present a problem.
Mad Magazine’s long-ago (1990s, I think) Norman Rockwell spoof titled “Last Parking Space at the Mall.”
(via Small Victory On Black Friday « Azn Badger’s Blog)
So This Happened of the Day: Tired of waiting for American Airlines to apologize to him for kicking him off a plane for being rude, Alec Baldwin made a surprise appearance on last night’s Weekend Update to apologize to himself on behalf of American Airlines.
[snl.]
The backstory behind The Onion's radio news
Jim Romenesko gets the story from the man behind Doyle Redland, America’s greatest fictional radio voice.
It won’t happen every day, of course. In fact, it’ll hardly happen at all. But it will happen, because sooner or later your back will be turned while you’re talking to your neighbor about the new restaurant that just opened where that Tex-Mex place used to be, and your 3-year-old will slip out onto the patio, pop open the screen door, and toddle into the water.
Imagine a life in which there’s always a jamboree, it’s always a sunny day, and no one ever troubles you for anything,” said 46-year-old Cleveland native Charley Hale. “You never have to pay taxes, and all you really have to do is blow in a jug a few times, sing some dumb words, and happily smile away with your pretty animatronic girl bear at your side.
Oh, The Onion. One of my favorite fake surveys yet.
Study: 96 Percent Of Humans Would Rather Be Animatronic Bear | The Onion - America’s Finest News Source
Study: 96 Percent Of Humans Would Rather Be Animatronic Bear | The Onion - America’s Finest News Source
My name is 
